End of Year!

Weyyy, akhir tahun 2012 nih. Hari ini adalah last Monday on 2012 dan last day juga.
Gak nyangka secepet ini 2012 ku berakhir. Kenapa gue tambahin pake -ku dibelakangnya?
And the reasons are....
Gue lulus SMA di taun 2012.
Gue masuk kuliah di taun 2012.
Gue bisa masuk jurusan kuliah yg gue idam-idamkan di taun 2012.
Gue baikan sm seseorang di taun 2012.
Gue mendapat hal yg sangat spesial di taun 2012.
Gue blablabla di taun 2012.
And many more...
Unforgettable and memorable. Wow :"D
Intinya, 2012 ini taun gue banget deh!
Tapiiii..... gue ttp berdoa semoga di taun-taun berikutnya juga ttp jadi taun gue yg terus makin gemilang di tiap harinya. Amiiiin O:)
Taun baru, bakal gue hadepin dengan niat yang baru, lembaran yang baru, cerita baru, rambut baru, pacar baru (HAHA), yaaa everything's new laaah. Kecuali muka ya-_-
Resolusi yg udah gue buat itu:
1. Gak pengen manja lagi
2. Gak boleh cengeng karna hal sepele
3. Gak boleh ngutang banyak-banyak!>.<
4. Gaada lagi yg namanya galau krn masa lalu!
5. Rajin belajar, ini wajib bgt!!! Demi dokter:")
Kurang lebih begitu teman-teman..........
oiya, I 'd like to say big thanks to Allah SWT. Because of Allah, I could through my 2012 with many colours. I know U always know what I needs and what I wants. They were come in the right time, in Your Time. Alhamdulillah :""")
So long, 2012:") Thanks for being my special thing in my life.

Someday.....

What?

Sumpah. Gue kaget bukan main waktu buka profil seseorang di situs fesbuk. Pagi ini, gue harus terheran-heran gak percaya. Yaiyalah gak percaya banget! ini apa lagi sih ceritanya :(
Gue harus apa? Bersikap biasa? Ya jelas gak bisa lah! Perasaan ini terlalu rancu untuk diartikan.
Gue dilema, woy. Gue gatau harus ngapain. Gatau harus ngerasain apa. Seneng kah? Engga! Ternyata gue malah sedih. HAHAHA :"( Sedih mulu lu, Wid......
Rasanya tuh kgn. Pgn banget bisa ngobrol-ngobrol lagi sama dia. Hei, sahabat! Lama loh kita gak bersua. Setaun oi setauuuun!!!! Lo ngerasain hal yg sama gak sih? :( Biasanya 5taun lalu kita bener-bener lepas ngomongin apa aja dan ngelakuin sesuka kita. Itu kan yg namanya sahabat? Dan lo tauga kenapa gue ngerasa sedih? Karna gue gabisa ada mulu disaat lo lagi seneng ataupun sedih. Gue nganggep gue gak berarti buat lo. Iyakan? Gue gak pernah lo anggep jadi sahabat lo kan? Ini cuman penganggapan sepihak kan? Sedih loh, bro. Gue selalu kangen sama momen-momen kita.
Gue tau gak seharusnya gue buka lagi tentang kita disini. Lo pernah minta, tapi waktu itu gue gak janji kan untuk gak nulis. Jadi gue gak sepenuhnya ngerasa bersalah. Ini udah akut...... GUE KGN SM LO. Gue tauko gue udah moveon dari lo. Plis jangan ada yg nyadarin gue lagi dgn bilang kl gue sebenernya blm totally moveon. Menurut gue, udah ko:"
Stay away.... Don't come again, please, dear memories :"""'''(

• 1. Are looks important in a relationship?
• umm... not really.
• 2. Are relationships ever worth it?
• yup, of course.
• 3. Are you a virgin?
• ABSOLUTELY!
• 4. Are you in a relationship?
• i guess, yes.
• 5. Are you in love?
• a lot.
• 6. Are you single this year?
• yaa.
• 7. Can you commit to one person?
• yes.
• 8. Describe your crush
• handsome. funny. nice. patient. lovely. 
• 9. Describe your perfect mate
• lovely. cute. romantic. smart.
• 10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
• i do.
• 11. Do you ever want to get married?
• so muchhhh.
• 12. Do you forgive betrayal?
• maybbb
• 13. Do you get jealous easily?
• YES.
• 14. Do you have a crush on anyone?
• yup
• 15. Do you have any piercings?
• no
• 16. Do you have any tattoos?
• no
• 17. Do you like kissing in public?
• ewh.
• 20. Do you shower every day?
• no.
• 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
• hmm
• 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
• haha dunno
• 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
• no
• 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
• no
• 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?
• i did
• 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
• yes.
• 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?
• yes.
• 28. Have you ever been cheated on?
• no
• 29. Have you ever cheated on someone?
• haha:x
• 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?
• nevaahhhh
• 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
• YESSS
• 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
• ._.
• 33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
• nooo
• 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?
• noooooo
• 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
• no
• 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
• yes :(
• 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
• no
• 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
• yesyesyes
• 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
• of course:(
• 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?
• yesssss
• 41. Have you had sex so far this year?
• noooo
• 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?
• dunno :p
• 43. How long was your longest relationship?
• 7months-_-
• 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
• 4
• 45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?
• no ono-_-
• 46. How many times did you have sex last year?
• i hadnt do sex
• 47. How old are you?
• 18yo, 3months
• 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
• <////////3
• 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
• au ah-_-
• 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
• DEF YES!
• 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?
• maybbb
• 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?
• dunno....
• 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
• dunno
• 54. Is there someone you will never forget?
• yes :')
• 55. Share a relationship story.
• memorable.
• 56. State 8 facts about your body
• sexy. :p a lil bit fat. nice. normal. a. b. c. d. -_-
• 57. Things you want to say to an ex
• hello. thanks. goodbye
• 58. What are five ways to win your heart?
• no words but action. that's the point.
• 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)
• my privacy :p
• 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?
• a year
• 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?
• good-looking
• 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
• dunno
• 63. What is your definition of “having sex”?
• free in the right time.
• 64. What is your definition of cheating?
• bad.
• 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?
• i dont know what it means
• 66. What is your favourite roleplay?
• dunno
• 67. What is your idea of the perfect date?
• cool.
• 68. What is your sexual orientation?
• ha?
• 69. What turns you off?
• moodbreaker
• 70. What turns you on?
• moodbooster
• 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?
• -_-
• 72. What words do you like to hear during sex?
• ...............
• 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
• dont know
• 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?
• skip.
• 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
• sing a song and make a poem for me
• 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?
• made a breakfast and cake for him
• 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
• cool
• 78. What’s your dirtiest secret?
• no idea
• 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?
• this morning. his ex.
• 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
• 2nightsago.
• 81. Who are five people you find attractive?
• mom. lil brother. sister. dad. myself.
• 82. Who is the last person you hugged?
• him.
• 83. Who was your first kiss with?
• second ex. 
• 84. Why did your last relationship fail?
• ldr.
• 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?
• no.

I guess u need those drug. No offense, perhaps I need one too. <////3

Dumb.

Bodoh. Aku merasa bodoh ada di jalan ini. Aku merasa bodoh dengan segala yang ada dan terjadi padaku.
Aku milih kamu aja kayaknya udah jadi hal bodoh buat orang yang sok pintar kayak aku.

Aku tau sampai kapanpun, kamu gak akan bisa lupa sama cerita lamamu. Aku gak akan pernah bisa jadi yang baru buat kamu. Kamu gak tau gimana rasanya jadi aku kan. Aku capek mikir positif yang gak akan pernah jadi positif juga kenyataannya.

Kalau aku bilang, aku capek, aku tau kamu bakal mikir aku jahat. Aku tau aku egois disini. Aku selalu memaksakan perasaan aku sendiri. Tapi, aku juga udah mikir baik-baik nantinya bakal gimana kalau perasaan aku yang harus dipertahanin disini.

Aku gak akan pernah bisa jadi dia, dan aku gamau jadi dia. Aku ya aku. Jangan pernah berharap semua hal dulu bakal balik lagi ke kamu. Kamu gak bisa jadi sutradara disini. Kita cuman bisa jalanin sesuai waktu aja. Biar waktu yang atur semuanya.

Aku gak tau aku bisa bertahan sampai kapan. Aku rasa gak bakal lama. Kalau kamu gak bisa jaga hati aku. Aku bosen. Aku capek. Aku sakit kayak gini. Berbagi dengan orang yang belum tepat sepertinya. Cepat atau lambat, sepertinya kita gak akan bertahan lama.

Emang gak pernah gampang kok buat yang namanya move on. Aku pernah ngerasain dan ngejalanin itu. Kalau aku jahat (banget), aku bisa kok ninggalin kamu. Tapi, aku gamau karna aku tau masih ada yang bisa dipertahanin. Aku ngerasa kamu gak seyakin itu ke aku. Aku gamau jatuh terlalu dalam disini, karna aku trauma. Ternyata, kamu masih belum bisa bantu aku ngilangin trauma itu, justru malah bikin trauma itu lebih parah. Karna kamu juga masih belum bisa selupa itu ke masa lalu.

Harusnya aku juga gak semudah ini bilang iya. Harusnya aku tau konsekuensinya. Aku pikir bakal seneng terus. Malah palsu terus. Capek. Aku belum siap ngomong ini langsung ke kamu. Aku bosen bilang kalau aku gak yakin sama kamu. Gimana engga...... Kamu masih suka ngebahas dia.

Kalau kamu masih belum bisa move on, mending sekalian move on dari aku juga. Biar pr-nya double. Biar kamu tau, gimana rasanya ngadepin orang yang stuck di masa lalunya. Aku gak mungkin sejahat ini ngomongnya kalau gak ada bukti, Dan lagipula, aku juga pernah ada di posisi itu. Bahkan lebih lama dan lebih parah. Aku sih gamau ngebahas masa lalu, aku sih gamau bilang, "dulu mantan aku gini, begini, begitu" gak pernah. Aku mikirin perasaan orang yang aku ajak omong juga tentang itu.

Jujur aja. Kamu jadiin aku apa? Cerita ini pernah aku alamin juga di tanggal 12 Januari, 4tahun silam. Ternyata, aku cuman dijadiin pelampiasan dari masa lalu orang itu dan bahan untuk pengisi kekosongan. Done. Aku gamau berurusan dengan orang macam itu. Jadi, kalau ternyata motif kamu deket sama aku untuk itu, maaf gak akan ada ruangnya.

Aku mau kamu serap kata-kata aku sebanyak ini. Aku gamau debat kalau kamu belum ngerti. Bye.

Siapa yg gamau ngerasain seneng? Boong abis kl ada yg gamau. Dan emang ga mungkin sih. -_-

Semua orang butuh ngerasa seneng pastinya. Hidup ini udah susah gausah dibikin susah. Apalagi sedih. Jadi buat apa juga ga bisa ngerasa seneng. Karna, seneng itu gampang. Bahagia itu simpel.

Gue lagi dalam perjalanan menuju tempat yang menurut gue bisa bikin gue seneng. Itu udah cita-cita dan angan-angan gue dari gue kecil. Kl gue ga seneng ngejalanin ini, mungkin udah suicide di tengah jalan nih gue. Tapi, ya balik lagi lah. Gue cuman pengen hidup gue di dunia ini ga akan pernah sia-sia sampe nanti. Gue cuman mau hepi sama orang lain dengan cara gue sendiri.

Bahagia itu saat gue kecil, gue dimanja-manja dan disayang sama siapa aja.

Bahagia itu saat gue tau gue juara kelas terus selama SD, dan bisa bikin mama papa seneng.

Bahagia itu saat gue diterima di SMP Negeri di Jakarta.

Bahagia itu saat gue lulus UN SMP dengan hasil gue sendiri.

Bahagia itu saat gue diterima dengan cukup baik oleh temen-temen dan orang banyak di sekitar gue.

Bahagia itu saat gue masuk SMA Negeri favorit di Jakarta.

Bahagia itu saat gue ketawa bareng-bareng sama sahabat-sahabat gue.

Bahagia itu saat gue keterima di jurusan yang gue mau.

Bahagia itu gue, kita yang nyiptain. Ga usah neko-neko kalo lo mau bahagia. Kuncinya cuman percaya sama apa yang udah lo lakuin bakal berhasil. Dan yakin, kalo dengan lo selalu positive thinking, semuanya bakal berjalan baik-baik aja dan sesuai dengan pengharapan.

U only live once. Don't waste your chance. And live freely as u want, but always remember God. U'll find the way to find the happiness. :)